After a recent training, the subject came up about how it can be difficult it can be when you network alongside a group of entrepreneurs and your business is not as advanced or growing as quickly as some others.
This sort of comparison of apples to oranges, can lead to feelings of inadequacy, frustration and even worse can evoke feelings of failure.
Well, as you may guess, I have a few things to say about that!!
Firstly, I totally understand that feeling. It’s a very human thing to do to compare ourselves to others. The problem with that is it actually has a massive and detrimental effect on us at all levels.
Emotionally we will end up either feeling inferior or superior depending how the comparison came out in our judgement. Being heart centred entrepreneurs, neither of these emotional states feels good to us.
Being human, we will then continue to beat ourselves up about that too.
Psychologically it skews our thinking affecting our attitude which is a great way to self-sabotage.
Physiologically, when we compare, the brain actually reduces its production of serotonin which is the happy hormone so immediately it lowers our mood which has a knock on effect to our immune system.
We have to get real with ourselves here. Sometimes others are doing more. They are better organised, more ready to take a risk with version one, further along the line, have more clarity, are getting more support, have more experience and do less procrastinating.
It’s also very likely they are making better conscious choices and are not getting ready to get going but actually have got going even if it’s a bit shambolic.
What that REALLY means is they are in a different part of their process to us.
If that’s the case, are they better than us? At that time – at what they are doing- the answer is yes they are!! In that particular context. Does that mean we will never get to that point in our process? Well, that’s our choice!
We can spend our time comparing ourselves to others OR we can just make a new and more productive choice about it.
How do I know all this, because I have been through this process 100’s of times.
What we are really talking about here is a feeling that no one especially adults, don’t really like to admit to… Feeling Envious!! There I have said it! The genie is out the bottle.
We look at others and our sophisticated evolved ego suppresses that unpleasant feeling and tells us we are far too nice to feel envy, it’s just because “Well, It’s not really fair. They have this this and this and I can’t have that because of this this and this.”
We are very skilled at making it about something else altogether.
However here is the GREAT news!
The flip side or “the cure” for envy is very simple, convert it into ASPIRATION!!
If someone else has or achieved what you want to have or be, that means you can have or be that too. Simple as!!
The great Jim Rohn says we are a combination (and our income potential) of the 5 people we hang out with the most. Given that rational, that’s why I stretch myself to the limit to be around people who have achieved WAY more than me!!
It’s easy to be a Big Fish in a wee pond.
Far more rewarding, challenging and expanding to be the Minnow swimming behind the shoal. That way you benefit of the pull from the tide when they break the waves ahead of you!
Make it a conscious choice to let go of comparing yourself to anyone. Instead, make sure you get around as many people as possible who are more advanced in their personal and professional development process than you.
It will pay you dividends I promise you.